No, really. Get a F*cking Coach Already.

After spending my early college years as a part-time Victoria’s Secret Sales Associate with a certain knack for getting our Upper East Side customers to sign up for credit cards — I’ve been forever wary of anyone offering self-serving advice. (In case you didn’t already know, you should never trust the advice of a fitting room attendant.)

Years later, after starting my legal career, I kept walking into professional spaces where the message was loud and clear: “invest in yourself and get a coach.” I’d sit there like, “riiiiight, and let me guess — you’re a coach. How convenient. Nah, I’m good.” I was certain the recommendation was nothing more than a thinly-veiled sales pitch aimed at separating me from the hard-earned coins I worked for day after day at my soul-crushing job. Plus, if we’re being honest, I probably didn’t think myself worthy of such an investment for a whole host of reasons we don’t have time to get into in this post.

Yet in recent years, I’ve come to see the true power of coaching as a transformative force capable of elevating your career, and personal life alike, to new heights.

So here it is — from someone who isn’t (yet!) selling you coaching — get a f*cking coach. (I mean, while you’re at it, get some therapy too since those things are not one and the same. But more on that below.)

Assuming you can afford it (and sometimes, even if you think you can’t), if you are unhappy with your current set of circumstances or can sometimes see through the clouds to a different reality that better reflects your hopes and aspirations — get a coach.

If you could use an objective assessment to help you find the right — or at least a better — path forward, with an action plan to make it all happen and hold you accountable during the many times you are likely to get in your own way — get a coach.

Get a coach who will help you get your mind right, gain perspective, call you out on your own bullsh*t, catch your blind spots, and give you a roadmap to success — whatever success might look like for you.

There’s a reason why the latest stats reflect the coaching business is a $15 Billion — yes, BILLION — industry and growing exponentially every day. Studies show the return on investment can be almost 6X the cost of coaching. Now that is definitely worth it.

So, why does coaching work?

Well, to be clear, coaching only works if you do the actual work. You could have the best coach in the world and if you aren’t committed to what can be a very personal, vulnerable, and eye-opening process, it’ll only be of limited value to you. According to Forbes, over 70% of people who received coaching said it benefited and improved their work performance,

That said, your commitment can oftentimes be triggered by the simple fact that you’ve paid for it. There’s tons of research reminding us that we tend to take for granted that which we get for free, and rarely take it seriously enough to make any true progress. The inverse is thus also true — so put your money where your mouth is.

What is coaching?

Ok, so now I’ve got you open to seeing the virtues of coaching and you’re intrigued.

But just what constitutes coaching, you ask? Coaching comes in many different varieties — personal, life, career, mommy, executive, leadership, business, spiritual, motivational, public speaking, confidence, organization, money, coach’s coaching, etc. You name it, it is out there. It’s usually some brand of giving someone the tools to unlock their potential and help them get to where they want in their career and/or life in general.

For all its flavors though, there are certain things that coaching is decidedly NOT.

• It is not therapy. I got set right on this early on by one of my phenomenal coaches — “I’m not your therapist” she said, point-blank. Oh, well damn. Ok. You’ll surely need to discuss the triggers of your many challenges and hang-ups eventually, but at the end of the day, the process is about figuring out how to get to the other side — moving forward, holding yourself accountable, and actually taking action.
• It is not a venting session with your homie or comadre. We’ll get into this a bit further below, but for now, just know that while it is imperative that you have the right chemistry with your coach — you also have to be just a tad bit afraid of them. You know, kind of like our relationships with our parents! Oh, just me? Ok, moving on.
• It is not a quick fix. As desperate as you might be for a quick resolution to whatever it is you are currently dealing with, it takes time to really internalize and then see the results of coaching. Like anything that requires self-reflection, transformative change, and continuous action towards your desired objective — not only will you need to give yourself time to see the results but you’ll need to fight through the limiting belief that it’s not working in real-time. So often, I’ve jumped off a coaching session and felt like OK, well that felt good. Now what? But time and time again, months later I catch myself being more self-aware and making moves confidently, pushing off the thoughts that crippled me just a few months back.
• It is not to be wasted frivolously. Time is money, baby, and these days, one hour (or 50 minutes, as it may be) is not only precious but pricey for both you and your coach. If you haven’t done the work or aren’t fully committed and attentive, just reschedule your session. Otherwise, it’s pointless and money down the drain. Trust me.
• It does not let you off the hook. Your coach will remind you time and time again — this is your journey and only you hold the answers that are going to get you through to the other side. As Beyoncé would remind us, you are the key to the kingdom — so don’t expect to get advice telling you what to do, like you’d get from your amigas.

Do you need coaching?

So how do you know if you are someone who could benefit from coaching? The short of it is — you are. Periodt. But if you need a reason to get coaching… there are plenty — most falling under one of these five categories:

• At the risk of sounding like an infomercial — do you feel lost? Whether at home or at work, are you flailing in search of something you can’t articulate? You’ve been grinding away for years only to look up and realize you kinda sorta just landed where you are, with no intention behind the actions that got you there. Have you lost your passion and drive? Sure, there are many external factors, both inside and outside the office, that could be contributing to your low energy and lack of motivation. But only you know if the external forces are the sole culprit or if they are merely symptomatic of your incessant internal struggle for direction and intentionality. I, for one, continuously struggle with letting life’s obligations dictate what my life looks like, and coaching always sets me back on course.
• Are you at the cusp of a huge transition, either in your career or in life in general? So often, doing the work preemptively goes a long way to helping yourself, and others for that matter, acknowledge that you are finally ready to level up. Do all you can to ensure you are ready for success when the time comes. I’ve sought coaching each time I’ve transitioned into a new role and each time it was money well spent. Not only are you ready to hit the ground running, but you’ve also taken stock of past mistakes and shed the heavy baggage that might sabotage your new venture. And self-sabotage, mujeres, is real AF. This is also the perfect time to work on the innate talents and strengths you’ve already identified in yourself and take them to the next level. See? It ain’t all bad.
• Do you need a kick in the ass? Are you constantly day-dreaming of all that could be, the powerhouse you are destined to become, only to find yourself mired by sh*tty habits that hold you back? We all know change is hard, and knowing something is for your own good is rarely enough to help you turn things around. Just ask for your third slice of pizza. Coaching is a sure-fire way of holding yourself accountable and kickstarting your journey from mere glimpses of your potential to truly transformative change. Coaching will help you feel more confident and self-aware in the work you’re doing.
• Are you in the middle of a rough patch or stuck in a cycle? Have you been blindsided by negative feedback or having difficulty engaging with your coworkers — or worse, your boss? You can surely benefit from someone to open your eyes to your blind-spots and help you course-correct back onto a path of success. A coach could help you navigate through and out of a difficult situation at work, and help you develop a long-term plan for what comes next.
• Do you need to lay back and take stock of where you are and where you are going? What’s your personal brand? How are you presenting in these areas of your life — how do people see you versus how you thought they saw you. A coach can help you align your brand expectations with reality, and help you anticipate how certain moves will impact your personal brand. Your coach can function as a sounding board, helping you work through the cause and effect of your actions, how you are perceived in a given space, and identify the path to get the personal branding results you need.

What kind of coaching do you need?

Assess where you are in life or in your career. Are you just starting out and looking to hit the ground running? Or you might’ve recently been promoted to a leadership or executive role and you want to make sure you are positioned to give it your best. Here are a few examples of helpful career coaching. There isn’t a one-size-fits-all for coaching. Chances are that the facet of your life that’s giving you the most anxiety is the one deserving of some coaching help.

That said, remember that coaching isn’t just a course correction or fix to a problem — instead, it can be the key to unlocking your talents, honing your strengths in an area of life where you already excel, and elevating that skill to new heights. Are you at a point where you’ve identified your innate gifts — what energizes you and leaves you feeling empowered? If so, now might be a good time to go big or go home, chica, and finally put your money where your mouth is.

How do you select a coach?

But perhaps more important than what kind of coach you need is knowing how to select a REAL one. So how do you pick a good coach? Now, despite all the hype — and no matter what your IG feed is telling you — not all coaches are created equal. Much like a good friend, significant other, personal trainer, or gynecologist, there is going to be some trial and error before you find the right fit.

The best tip for cutting through the noise is hitting up your network for recommendations on tried and true coaches. The chemistry between you and the coach you’re looking to hire is critical to success. Chances are your tribe has similar values to you and can readily identify cool peoples — coaches with the right combination of personality, cultural competence, and expertise to connect with you on the right level.

Now what?

Admittedly, this is the kind of career advice that asks more questions than it answers. But that’s the point, isn’t it? Only you can answer the questions above, acknowledge your circumstances, and identify if there are any parts of your life or career that need a glow-up. If so, do it — get a coach — sooner rather than later, and level-up. Then get another coach (maybe the same coach, if it’s in their wheelhouse) and level-up again, and again, and again. Eventually, you’ll amass a collection of personal expert motivators, all addressing a different part of all your badass-ness.

Sky’s the limit ladies, and as few of us as there currently are in the leadership ranks, it behooves (I’ve always wanted to use that word to make a significant point!) us to recognize our own potential and take any and every step to elevate as soon as possible!

Con Cariño,

E